It’s not the hand we’re dealt, it’s how we play it

Living in a world oftentimes overrun with elements of conspicuous consumption, materialism, self-obsession and the desire for fame, it was refreshing to watch the recent video released on Bilibili about an inspiring uncle and the abridged tale of his life.

And I was not alone, the video, entitled How Erjiu Cured My Mental Anguish After Three Days Back in the Village, has been viewed over 40 million times.

Shot by former history teacher Tang Hao on a return trip to the rural village where he grew up, the video tells the story of his second uncle on his mother’s side, and how he went from being a promising student in his teens to being left lame in one leg by a botched medical procedure. With his whole future ahead of him, Erjiu’s dreams were stopped dead.

Despite being struck with adversity at a young age, Erjiu, now 66, has gone on to lead a fulfilling life. Not dwelling on his misfortune, he instead developed skills such as woodworking, as well as those enabling him to fix basically anything apart from a laptop or phone. As a result, he is one of the most important members of the community he lives in.

And despite not marrying, Erjiu adopted a daughter and spent his life savings buying her a home after she got married. Today, he cares for his 88-year-old mother.

Tang’s video following Erjiu around his village for three days, observing his good deeds and his caring nature, puts into perspective the tawdry troubles many of us complain about in our own day-to-day lives. I will certainly think twice about grumbling the next time my flat white tastes a bit bitter or my internet is slow.

After three years of a pandemic and countless other external problems, we can surely all relate, at least in some small way, to misfortune and things in our lives not going the way we would really have liked them to have done. I know I have.

And Erjiu’s story is one that I am sure has already inspired millions.

All of us, in one way or another, tend to externalize our problems, blame others for things that have affected us, and make excuses for the bad things that may happen in life. And this, although almost inescapable at times, is something to be avoided.

Like Erjiu, instead of externalizing our problems, we should look inward, find peace and find a way to channel our energy into not just our own positivity, but into making a positive impact on those around us. Now, I’m not suggesting we suddenly all become saints and start donating blood (although donating blood is definitely a positive thing to do), but perhaps just by doing things a little differently, cheering up a bit, thinking a little bit more about other people and how they might be feeling, or a million other things, then we can collectively turn that frown upside down.

After all, self-pity is one of the most unattractive qualities a person can ever possess.

As Tang, the video’s creator, says in an interview about his uncle: “Erjiu was dealt a bad hand, but he played it beautifully.”

Since writing this piece, it has been alleged that some elements of the video may be inaccurate and some have even questioned the motivations behind its making. Be that as it may, my central point stands. If we all look for the positives in life instead of dwelling on the negatives, we’ll all be a lot happier as a result.